When you're a Christian and your family is part of the LGBT life.

The big thing that makes all other Christians question our loyalty to Christ. How does one as a Christian “handle” someone of a different sexual orientation? We as Christians are scrutinized if we “accept” or “associate” with someone who is homosexual, pansexual, metrosexual or bisexual (any kind of sex that’s not heterosexual). We are raised to believe if we love instead of judging  (which contradicts Gods word) we are doomed to hell. This isn’t a question, it is a clear statement.  I grew up in a household where we were taught hellfire and brimstone. We were taught to live in fear of being rejected by God and doomed to hell if were to “stray” from what we were taught.  Were taught to reject anything our church doesn’t accept, or what they may not agree with.  Were taught if we choose to be around those who identify with loving the same sex or loving someone who may not identify as the gender they were born with, it’s an atrocity, an abomination. We (them & I) are to be shunned as if we’re all Amish and we hadn’t returned from Rumspringa.  We are taught to accept a heterosexual who may have committed any number of sins. Murder. Adultery. Lying. Thievery.  The judgment of others, etc….  As long as they are not homosexual, bisexual, or pansexual.
When my sister came out years ago, due to my upbringing I struggled with how I was supposed to “handle” this situation. How was I to love the sister I grew up with because she was now considered an abomination to our church and to the God that loved us. I was even married to a man who refused to let me talk to my sister because her lesbian “spirit” may attach to me. Mind you this was a man who was physically, mentally and sexually abusive.  I lost several years with my sister due to his unreasonable commands. The sister I grew up with, playing in barns, riding horses, singing together and making our version of music videos. The sister who loved me even when I wasn’t the perfect sister or perfect Christian.  After he and I divorced, I was able to reconnect with my sister. I am not even sure till this day she knows I was MIA due to his demands, and my fear of being doomed to hell. Unless I was preaching hellfire and brimstone, anointing her oil and rebuking the demonic spirits from her I had to shun her.  I had been taught were allowed to bully with our Bibles rather than teach. How is this okay?
In the recent months, I’ve had one of my children come out to me as Pansexual and bigender. My child had started the conversation with “would you still love me if I murdered someone?” What had I taught my daughter? That I would possibly accept her and continue to love her if she murdered rather than just be Pansexual and/or bigender.
Had I passed on the same judgmental brainwashing that had been drilled into me?
After my own in-depth search of how I was to “handle” anyone who wasn’t in line with Gods word, or the distorted version of Gods word I had been taught. I read books. I read scriptures. I prayed. I prayed and prayed some more……. After this long heart-wrenching search I came to the conclusion…
God is a god of love. God never once in 66 books, 1189 chapters, 31,101 verses, 783,137 words, 3,566, 480 letters of the Bible (KJV) does God say, I will love you only if.
See, I’ve been married and divorced not once, not twice but three times. That’s three times I failed in the eyes of God according to my church. I’ve cursed. I’ve overeaten.  I’ve told the innocent white lie to spare the feelings of someone I love. I’ve had premarital sexual relationships. I’ve drunk more than I should. All things my church has drilled into me are things that will send me straight to hell.  How does one comfortably “disown” a family, especially my child because they choose to love someone that I may not understand?
With all my study I have come to the conclusion……… (I am sure most won’t agree with)
In Matthew 7 & 12, Luke 6, John 5, 8 & 12, James 3 & 4, Romans 2, Proverbs 31, Romans 12, 1 & 2 Corinthians, John 3, Galatians 6, Leviticus 19, Hebrews 4, 2 Timothy, Ephesians 4
My personal favorite Romans 14:1-13
1Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. 2One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. 4Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the LORD is able to make them stand. 5One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. 6Whoever regards one day as special does so to the LORD. Whoever eats meat does so to the LORD, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the LORD and gives thanks to God. 7For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. 8If we live, we live for the LORD; and if we die, we die for the LORD. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the LORD. 9For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the LORD of both the dead and the living. 10You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. 11It is written: “‘As surely as I live,’ says the LORD, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.'” 12So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. 13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.
All these scriptures contain instruction on how were are not to judge others.

Choosing to love someone regardless of sexual orientation does not doom us to hell. My all-time favorite scriptures on love are listed here…..

You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” Matthew 5:43-45
“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples if you have the love for one another.” John 13:34-35
“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8
Three things will last forever–faith, hope, and love–and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
This one is my ultimate favorite! If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:2
Not of these scriptures says to love someone only if. They ALL clearly state we are to love. Give love. Show love.
What would happen if we just offered judgment-free love? 
I choose love. I chose to love my sister. I chose to love my child. I chose to have a Christ-like love and love each person regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation or gender affiliation. It is God job to judge them. It’s my job to love them. I challenge you, yes you who are reading this to offer judgment-free unconditional love to everyone. 


  • Mischele

    This is something I have also struggled with. Not because anyone in my family has come to me but because I have always been accepting of anyone who is not heterosexual. That isn’t what has bothered me. What has bothered me is the way people/family look at me/treat me when my views are brought out. So I basically questioned myself and rather or not I should look deeper . I still find myself questioning what the definition of marriage is, but I usually end with love is love. Thoughts?

    • marriedmyboaz

      I believe it is a tricky subject for sure In the New Testament (NT), there are at least three passages that refer to homosexual activity: Romans 1:26–27, 1 Corinthians 6:9–10, and 1 Timothy 1:9–10. A fourth passage, Jude 1:7, is often interpreted as referring to homosexuality. So, we have it all in black and white, I do believe it is unnatural and wrong. However, it also says in 1 Corinthians 13:2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. I know Charity translates to goodwill, compassion, consideration, concern, kindness, kindliness, kind-heartedness, tenderness, tender-heartedness, warm-heartedness, brotherly love, love, sympathy, understanding, fellow feeling, thoughtfulness, indulgence, tolerance, liberality, decency, nobility, graciousness, lenience, leniency and if we are called to do all these things how can I throw judgement to someone when it also says, in Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. I can only state my belief to that person and love them anyway.

Leave a Reply