If you been reading my blog long you know where I stand biblically as a mom, sister, and friend. But, most importantly where I stand as a wife. Some days I will admit this stand happens to be on quicksand. I am NOT again, not a perfect wife. I assure you my husband can attest to this. If you are reading this you are curious, maybe even serious about being the wife called you to be or like me, you are a big giant AskHole.

Let me explain what an AskHole is. An askhole is basically a person who asks for your opinion or advice, yet never uses your advice and does the opposite of what you said to do. Askholes sometimes ask questions for the sake of asking questions or making conversation. They zone out when you supply an answer, and they always end up doing their own thing.

Some times when I begin writing a blog I have to look in the mirror ask myself why am I preaching to myself? Then God always shows his big beautiful self. See we as women (men too!) are called to holiness. We are also called to submit to our husbands. This is a hard pill to swallow for sure. It is a little easier if your husband is the man God has called him to be. However, we are required to submit regardless of our their attitude, our feelings or our emotions. This is where I once, twice, maybe three times eye-rolled, on a regular basis. I learned God has a way of dealing with us on his more unsophisticated level because we are ignorant. He gives us biblical references such as scriptures we may have read a zillion times and totally ignored and sort of face slaps us with them.

2 Corinthians 7:1 – Having, therefore, these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Colossians 3:18

I’ve learned there is a whole list of ways we can honor God by honoring our husbands. Whether that is……

  1. Stop what you are doing and look at him when he talks.
  2. Refrain from interrupting him when he’s talking.
  3. Never talk bad about him to ANYONE. EVER.
  4. Keep your problems off of social media.
  5. Pray for him.
  6. Pray with him.
  7. Pray over him when he is going through some tough decisions or stressful situations.
  8. Ask him for his opinion.
  9. Consider him when making plans.
  10. Dress modestly in a way that honors your marriage.
  11. Carve out time for date night.
  12. Thank him for something he’s done.
  13. Wake up early to make him breakfast.
  14. Give him a space of his own IN the house.
  15. Ask, “what can I do for you today?”
  16. Stop what you are doing and welcome him home with a kiss.
  17. Give him a kiss as he walks out the door in the morning.
  18. Always kiss him goodnight.
  19. Say YES, in the bedroom.
  20. Allow him room to make mistakes without nagging. It’s called grace.

Other than these twenty things a big way to honor our husband is to honor his wishes, opinions and allow him to make decisions for our family. Then honor those choices. A man after God will never, lead his family where the grace of God will not protect them. One of the things I have had to learn over time through trial and error is to honor him by listening to him. See, it’s one thing to ask it’s another to listen. Sometimes our flesh wants to cry out and scream against his decision for our family. But, if we refrain, respect our husbands and honor God by honoring our husband, God will bless us through our obedience. My point is STOP BEING AN ASKHOLE to your husband, ask, listen, honor and follow. It’s not easy sometimes but completely, totally and utterly worth it.

So, today I challenge you to stop being an ASKHOLE and see what kind of things God does within your marriage.


Hollie McCalip