Today’s blog has been year’s in the making, I didn’t realize it until I sat down to write it. When I’m done my husband will either love me or have a temporary dislike for me. Knowing him he will be great. He has this amazing go with the flow attitude, way more laid back than I am. Which is usually how he becomes my voice of reason on a regular basis.
I’ve said before and I’ll say again and again my sweet husband is a top-notch A1 verbal communicator. This is not a gift I possess. Seriously, verbal communication not so much my thing. Lord forbid something serious happens, I’ll be utterly lost. Because I’m more of an I have an issue let me a text or email you. I can send a well-written text or email like nobodies business it’s my gift, well that and quick wit, which I’m sure is completely genetic. So, if you’re interested in a quit whittled sarcastically worded comment, I’m your girl. Which is why without my husband’s stellar communication skills there would be many more miscommunication moments in our marriage then there are.
We all know communication isn’t just verbal or written, I’m challenged physically as well. Physical communication ain’t my thang! Before my husband, a whole lotta prayer and work on that big aortic pump in my chest I wasn’t a hugger. I was barely a hand shaker, maybe a pat on the back kind of not just person but friend. My phrase ”I love you just please don’t touch me!” I had the physical affection that resembles that of a roadrunner being chased by Wile E. Coyote seriously. I’m that friend if you’re sick, I’ll bring you a basket of soup, tissue, medicine and a well written sarcastic card, telling you to suck it up, and I knock and run. Because, as the Lord says your ways are not my ways… We’ll your germs are not my germs and the plan is to keep it that way. All stemming back to my disability with verbal communication skills, well and obviously my physical communication skills as well.
I think my husband, my mom, a few {maybe all} of my friends and possibly strangers have prayed for a change in my sympathetic 172A4803-001A-495B-8FA9-DCAFDD514F63affection and communication skills. I’m not sure if they should be sent cards of thanks or some sorta threat mail. I’m game for both, depending on the day.
This change hasn’t been overnight, or even over a year, it’s still a work in progress. That elementary Sunday school song ”he’s still working on me!” that would be my current theme song. I should actually warn others by having it printed on a shirt, big print and little print for those with nearsightedness and far sidedness maybe even round it out in the warning department with a bumper sticker. So, if you see me on a regular basis. I’m sorry it’s not me, it’s the transition.
See, I blame them {the prayers} for the new emotions. The new tears at America’s Got Talent golden buzzer, the tears for the fictional television characters, Shona Rimes has heartlessly killed off of Greys Anatomy. Then there are the ridiculous social media ads, that are tear-jerkers {I’m a hot mess}. The emotional ups & downs including but not limited to biting my poor husbands head off for no apparent reason. The indecisiveness, the overdrive in my OCD, So unusual for me, that when I discussed the emotions with my physician, I was sure he’d say I was crazy hand me a psych referral and be on his way. But instead, he claimed I was 40 and most likely premenopausal. Which was also emotional. I assure you the lab test results revealed I am not premenopausal, menopausal or postmenopausal. I’m not sure how they tell when you are uterus-less. We all know where there’s not a scientific medical explanation there’s always a heavenly one.
See when the lord changes something in that big aortic pump it’s sorta like detox and rehabilitation. Have you ever seen a documentary of an addict in detox and rehab? No!?! It’s not pretty! It’s unfortunately very beneficially grotesque. There is some puking, crying, threats, denial, acceptance and then healing. Well, it works the same way, and those closest to you are the ones who suffer through it. Then right before a rehab release, you’re notified you need a heart transplant. But, you’re in luck there is an available heart, a perfect match it’s at the foot of the cross. You only have to show up, once the old necrotic heart has been removed and the new heart has been replaced. What’s even better is the transplant has been paid in full!
Let me be honest though…. When it comes to a change in your attitude, compassion, or an action they all stem from the heart {its biblical}.
In Matthew 15:18, Luke 6:45, Jeremiah 17:9, just a few. Similar to addiction rehabilitation it’s so much easier if an intervention doesn’t have to take place. It’s so much easier on you if you initiate the change and not leave it up to the prayers of others. Believe me, from experience it is So. Much. Easier.
I will tell you, I’m not sure why I was even led to write about this particular subject, change or event in my life. But, I do know someone reading this needed to read it. So, if you’re experiencing a spiritual detox and rehab and or a big aortic pump transplant, prayerfully hold on tight, Bible up and just go with it. You will get through it. Life on the other side is so much better.
Hollie McCalip