Yesterday, I celebrated my forty-second birthday. I can’t believe it! I am forty-two! What? When were are kids we never think time will fly by. But, it does. The older we get the faster it seems to go. The things that once since so important dissipate with our youth. Our focus and what we are willing to sacrifice for insignificant things change drastically. The drama and things we thought were so important in our twenties are gone. The things we thought were important in our thirties are different. I know for me personally the battles I am willing to fight has changed. I am no longer willing to defend myself based on the options and actions of others.

I learned A LOT from the failed marriages, failed friendships (or I thought were) and toxic relationships I have been in. These with age and time have made me appreciate the things I used to wish for. There are also some things I have now that I never knew I needed. My husband for instance. I never knew I needed his level head, his voice of reason and sense of humor. I am going to let you in on a few things I have learned over the years. Things that I wish I could share with my younger self.

  1. No matter the situation there is always a silver lining.
  2. Everyone at some point in time will disappoint you.
  3. There will be a lot of seasonal friends.
  4. Your heart will get broken. But it will heal.
  5. Time does not heal all wounds. But, you will survive.
  6. Things almost never work out as you planned
  7. Love isn’t’ fireworks and butterflies. It’s hard work, loyalty, grace, and compassion.
  8. It’s okay not to hug everyone.
  9. Take trips.
  10. Have girls weekends.
  11. Don’t be afraid to fail. Failure is where most of your learning happens.
  12. If someone gives you bad vibes listen to yourself.
  13. Never forget to show appreciation to those who have loved, supported and helped you.
  14. A simple thank you goes a long way.
  15. Education is important and always a good idea.
  16. Tomorrow is a new day
  17. Be picky about what battles you are willing to fight. Not all battles are worth fighting.
  18. Pick a stance and never waiver.
  19. Not all people are bad. But not all people are trustworthy.
  20. Social Media isn’t life and 99% of people live filtered lives.
  21. Never be afraid to be your authentic self. There is only one you and you can not be replaced.
  22. Never be afraid to fall in love.
  23. Never ignore the red flags and warning signs
  24. Never let the opinions of others dictate how you view yourself

With all these things I would love to tell my younger self, I am not sure I would have changed anything. I’ve chosen to learn from my mistakes and heartbreaks. After years of dwelling, I choose to no longer dwell and suffer for things I can no longer change. In doing so there is freedom. So, if you are not forgiving yourself for things you are unable to change wake up every day and make that choice. So, try what do you have to lose?

Hollie McCalip