I have had so many women tell me they are not good enough. They feel inadequate, less than and under par. As, wives, mothers, sisters, homemakers, career women, and as Godly women. I can say I have recently said this about myself to my husband. Like the sweet man he is, he assured me I am not failing in these areas the enemy wants me to doubt my abilities, my qualifications and most importantly he wants me to doubt my faith. This is not good!

Ladies, let me tell you we’ve gone from God-fearing wives, moms, and women too fearful women with overwhelming feelings of inadequacies. We’ve gone from knowing our self-worth and who we are and who we belong to, too confused, depressed and lost.  Most women are confused about how we have ended up spiritual recluses and begged God to show himself and ask why he has ignored us. I know this because this was/is a struggle for me as well.

I’ll be the first to admit, I need Social Media Anonymous. Except for the fact it’s not so anonymous (lol). I was at a point in my adult life, I was consumed with likes, followers, friends request and the drama involved with engulfing our lives with Social media. The big one was the number of hits on my blog (huge for me). See, first were are not “engulfed” we become engulfed gradually without noticing. We scroll through follow and like post after post. We begin liking her or even his (whoever she/he may be) post. We look at their perfectly poised photographs of up to date fashions, well dressed behaved children, their half-naked bods, and their perfectly filtered relationships. For example, when we moved to Broken Arrow I wanted, needed, dreamed of having a house with granite counter tops in the kitchen and bathroom. I also wanted stainless steel appliances. My sweet husband honored my request and that is what we got. Which is what a man who loves his wife who submits to his leadership does when he can. He honors her request.  I loved my kitchen, it’s small, it’s cute and it’s what I asked for. But, after a few months of scrolling, liking and gazing at other random strangers kitchens (especially the farmhouse kitchens, those sinks!! I completely heart) out there this initially perfect little kitchen wasn’t enough. It became just ok. Like myself it was inadequate, no longer met my expectations. It was too small, not an open concept, not enough counter space, it didn’t have that magnificent sink and just not what I wanted any more.

Why was it all of a sudden this wasn’t enough? What I asked for and wanted so badly wasn’t enough. This too can happen in your marriage through social media. I watched a movie once that said: “Gay people are not destroying the sanctity of marriage you people are!” well I think Social Media and our obsession with its contents are destroying our marriages, our relationship with our children and most importantly our walk with God.

Before I continue I am not a hypocrite,  so don’t get me wrong, I am still an avid social media user. There are things I still love about it. 

I like so many other good-hearted, well-intentioned, God-fearing women out there I woke up, checked my phone, scrolled through all my social media feeds, fed my husband, saw him off to work,  got the kiddos off to school, started laundry, made our bed,  and whatever else needed to be done that day. But not without intermittent scrolling Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter.  I thought because my “chores” were being done I didn’t have an issue. Because my bible study happened every time I prepared for a blog. I was all good to go. Why? Because again, I am a God-fearing Christian woman. I mean my heart is in the right place? But wrong, wrong, oh, so, wrong on so many levels. I was using social media only ten to fifteen minutes here and there, so I am ok? Again, wrong, wrong, and wrong those are the lies the enemy wants us to believe. Which is why it is a gradual engulfment. My sweet husband pointed out on one of our date nights during the movie I checked social media. He also pointed out now when in the car I always had my phone in my hand. We no longer hold hands or had conversations on our road trips. Bad wife award goes to ME!

What we as Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 women have done is let the world of social media take over our lives and dictate who we are, who we should be and how we should conduct ourselves, and what kind of life we should live (materialistic and monetary) by filtered comparison. We’ve let the filtered world of internet interfere with who God says we are.

Romans 12:2 – And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

2 Timothy 1:7 – For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Galatians 3:26 – For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

But, let me tell you, ladies, we are gifts to the world. We are daughters of not just a king, but the highest king. God created us to be the helpmate to our husbands. He created us to love our husbands and our children. To be keepers of the home. To all these things as we’re doing them unto the Lord. He did not create us to compare ourselves, our lives, our homes, our marriages or our children to the filtered lives of those on the internet. Stand up! Let’s take our husbands, children, homes and ourselves back. The enemy has messed with us long enough. It won’t’ be easy and it will take time, effort and prayer. Our contorted way of thinking didn’t happen overnight. Therefore, changing the way you see yourself, your life, home, and marriage doesn’t happen overnight. So, pray to ask God to show you who you are through him and in him.

This morning, before I picked up my phone and scrolled I prayed. When I cook for my family I pray over what I am preparing. When I fold laundry I pray each person the article I am folding belongs to. When I iron my husband’s clothes (which I despise, ironing not my husband. Thought I would clarify 🙂 ), I use this time to pray and ask God to help him be a man of honor, integrity, love, kindness, and humble. To be the man God himself created him to be. So, these chores become more of prayerful worship time. I am not perfect. I fail daily. I still dislike ironing. But, God does see my acts of service for my husband and children and my prayers as an act of worship. Which is a win-win, we are called to worship in all we do. Which makes my little imperfect heart dance a little.

Romans 12:1 – I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, [which is] your reasonable service.

Luke 4:8 – And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.

Psalms 29:2 – Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name; worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness.

My social media usage has improved and will continue to improve, again I am not perfect. But, I can tell you this with the increase of daily prayer and worship, my inadequacies, doubts, and fears have dwindled. I am no longer engulfed. I am now confident in who I am through and in Christ.

So, as I continue to make this change I challenge you to do the same. Let more of God and less of filtered social media show you who you are. I promise you will have not regrets. Not. One. Single. Letter.

With Love,

Hollie McCalip