Sorry, I have MIA for a minute, but I am back. We have relocated and are completely unpacked, in our new town Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, with two additional Grand littles Wyatt & Michael added to our family and we are ready for this next chapter God has written for our family.  Today’s blog is a subject that has been on my heart for some time, however, I sometimes like to fight God on things he is trying to change or improve in me. I’m not really even sure why I fight it because he always wins. I can tell you this is something I am supposed to write. While writing this blog my computer that never gives me issues, the screen kept blacking out. Guess what? I Kept starting it again and writing. The closer I got to finishing it finally quit. Coincidence, I think not. 

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As I have sat and watched so many television shows (ones I love), news updates, as well as followed, friended and watched so many of the famous women our girls are following and listening to. Women of all ages, 13-99. These women who are telling us and our girls how to be feminine or should I say, feminist women. Even as an adult it is hard not to jump on the empowering WE ARE WOMEN ban wagon. With the display of amazing women portrayed in movies, come on Wonder Woman, Erin Brocavich alone is a billy bad you know.  However, on the other hand, this is society’s version of what a feminine woman should be, and look like, not Gods version. And, I have to say,  I am so scared for my daughters, granddaughters, nieces, and friends. We all have been told since WWII how we not only need but have to “Man Up” and pitch in to help America run while, husbands, fathers, and sons were swept off to war. This must be the man mindset didn’t end when the war ended. We as women didn’t help out then return to our previous places in the home, we escalated, especially with the Vietnam War and the bra-burning era.  Things continued to worsen for our families,

1920: Women are granted the right to vote.

It took 72 years, but women are granted the right to vote with the passing of the 19th Amendment.

1963: The Equal Pay Act is passed.

President John F. Kennedy’s Commission on the Status of Women described the inequalities women still faced in the U.S. economy. Discrimination was openly tolerated, and employers could legally pay women less than men for the same job, simply because they were women.

1971: Gloria Steinem, Bella Abzug, and Betty Friedan form the National Women’s Political Caucus.

The Caucus worked on behalf of women’s issues. That same year Steinem also started Ms. magazine (which first started as a section of New York magazine). It was one of the first magazines to honestly discuss real women’s issues, and in 1976 it became the first issue to feature the subject of domestic violence on its cover.

1981: Sandra Day O’Connor becomes the first woman appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court.

At the time, just six percent of all federal judges were women. Pretty amazing, considering that, despite being first in her class at Stanford Law, she had trouble getting hired by certain firms because she was a woman.

1983: Sally Ride becomes the first woman in space.

“As the first American woman to travel into space, Sally was a national hero and a powerful role model,” President Obama said soon after news of her death broke last year. “She inspired generations of young girls to reach for the stars and later fought tirelessly to help them get there by advocating for a greater focus on science and math in our schools. Sally’s life showed us that there are no limits to what we can achieve, and I have no doubt that her legacy will endure for years to come.”

2002: Halle Berry becomes the first African American woman to win the Oscar for Best Actress.

Berry won for her performance in the film Monster’s Ball. In her speech, she said, “This moment is so much bigger than me. This moment is for Dorothy Dandridge, Lena Horne, Diahann Carroll. It’s for the women that stand beside me, Jada Pinkett, Angela Bassett, Vivica Fox. And it’s for every nameless, faceless woman of color that now has a chance because this door tonight has been opened. Thank you. I’m so honored. I’m so honored.”

2005: Hillary Clinton becomes the first First Lady to be elected to public office.

Clinton joined Congress as a U.S. Senator from New York. She also got closer than any other woman to becoming President of the United States. She may get even closer in 2016

2010: Kathryn Bigelow becomes the first woman to win an Oscar for Best Director.

She made history with her film The Hurt Locker. Actress Jessica Chastain said of Bigelow, who directed her in Zero Dark Thirty, that “you’ve said that filmmaking for you is not about breaking gender roles, but when you make a film that allows your character to disobey the conventions of Hollywood, you’ve done more for women in cinema than you take credit for.”

2012: Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, becomes the youngest self-made female billionaire.

Blake’s brilliant invention made her a young, rich woman (and got her on the cover of Forbes!). Katie Couric wrote of Sarah in Time: “The comic irony of Spanx is that the woman who became a billionaire after inventing them doesn’t even need them. Poor thing, she was a size 2 when the idea hit her. But luckily for Sara Blakely, 41, plenty of us had a little junk in our trunks. As we were trying to hide our guts, she trusted hers. Despite the naysayers, with just $5,000 and a great idea she proved that you don’t need an M.B.A. to know what women want and how to market it.”

Last year four Wall Street investment banks separately valued Spanx at an average $1 billion, a sum Forbes corroborated with the help of industry analysts. Blakely owns 100% of the private company, has zero debt, has never taken outside investment and hasn’t spent a nickel on advertising. As of 2012, Spanx sells 200 products in 11,500 department stores, boutiques and online shops in 40 countries, Forbes said.

2012: Taylor Swift becomes the first female artist in music history to have two opening weeks with more than one million album sales; Marissa Mayer becomes the CEO of Yahoo.

She may have some personal issues, but Swift has captured the hearts (and wallets) of America. In only one week, her album “Red” sold 1.2 million copies, and “Speak Now” sold over 1 million in the first week.

Marissa Mayer, Google employee number 20, became the CEO of Yahoo at the young age of 37. Already pregnant when she accepted the job, Mayer made the subject of maternity leave a national conversation topic. She continued to do so this month with her ban on working from home.

2013: Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In comes out.

Last year was big for the COO of Facebook. Sandberg’s book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, came out. It really highlighted the struggle many women face when it comes to commanding their careers on top of their home lives. It’s an eye-opening and insightful expansion of her famous TEDTalk from December 2010 and people are still talking about it now. In fact, Sony Pictures has optioned the book for a screenplay. According to Deadline.com, the studio has hired Nell Scovell, the veteran TV writer/director, to write the script. Scovell helped Sandberg write the book. The film will not be a biography of Sandberg; rather, Scovell will hatch a narrative film from the themes contained within the book. Sandberg will donate her proceeds from the project to her foundation.

This was just the highlight reel!!

I am not opposed to becoming a woman who has accomplished amazingly great unimaginable things. The things an eleven-year-old girl is sitting in class right now daydreaming about. I am not saying women shouldn’t work outside-the-home,  because that would make a hypocrite. I am not saying they shouldn’t be astronauts, doctors, mayors or presidents. What I am saying is  Satan himself has found a way to warp the minds of our daughters, granddaughter, sisters, nieces, and friends by warping the understanding of everything good that God created including our feminism.  We are given a gift in our feminism. We have been gifted the natural ability to nurture, love and serve others, especially our children. Have you heard the phrase “if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”? There is so much truth in that statement. We create the atmosphere in our home. Our attitude sets the tone for our home the entire day. It’s a gift, a feminine gift, yes even if you don’t realize it. We have been gifted the natural grace, class, and force that only a woman can possess. The kind of force, when used in prayer, changes the world. The kind of force that raises world changers for Gods glory.   I can give you so many scriptures to back up the women’s place, the Woman’s job (I know these are fighting words for most women) A woman’s purpose and mission.  Feminism matters whether you are single, married, a mom, a daughter, a friend or stranger.

Before I start using scripture to back what I am saying know this 2 Timothy 3:16-17 All scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.

Women were created by God (Genesis 1:27), from man, using his rib (Genesis 2:22), to help man (Genesis 2:18, 1 Corinthians 11:8-9). It was Eve who chose to eat a piece of fruit (Genesis 3:6) and change the game. God had a specific design, a specific plan for each, the man and the woman. One deceptive selfish decision by woman caused a chain reaction of hurtful (Genesis 3:16), sinful actions.

God made us, Man and woman equally but uniquely with a different purpose (Psalm 139:14). He specifically designed a headship, himself, the man then wife (1 Peter 3:1-6, 1 Corinthians 11:3). In 1 Peter 3:7 we are described as a weaker vessel, not lesser only weaker. I’m totally fine with this, he opens most of the pickle jars anyway. Which is why he intended us to be a helpmate, in Ecclesiastes 4:9 he also states two is better than one.  Created to work together to accomplish Gods ultimate plan, who am I to argue this?

We are specifically shown as women how to embrace our God gifted femininity throughout the Bible. If you are just looking for the basics of how to embrace and display proudly your God gifted femininity. It doesn’t matter if you are just discovering this or you are a pro, these are great places to begin or refer back to,  Titus 2, and Proverbs 31 are my favorite gotos for this. Seriously, we should take pride in this. Teaching our children, even if they are grown. Serving our husbands, children, and grandchildren. Taking pride in creating a Lifegiving home (Sally Clarkson & Sarah Clarkson) for our family. I’ve done the stay-at-home wife thing. I’ve been the working wife. I’ve done the running an entire clinic by myself thing. I’ve been the working single mom. I have struggled for years for my mission, my purpose, my passion. Somedays it is still a struggle, I just have to remind myself of my purpose, and my mission and my passion are revived. I am currently a housewife, no this is NOT degrading!  The most important work I have and will ever do has and will continue to be inside the walls of my home (remind myself on a regular).

Because of my previous marriages, I struggle with the serving your husband aspect. I wasn’t going to serve a man again. EVER. I had this mindset even after getting married again, MY POOR HUSBAND. Then I developed some health issues that required me to be home for some time. I thought well since I have to be home, I’ll begrudgingly try this service thing. The cooking, cleaning, ironing, and everything else was okay. Yes, just okay. I doubted myself. No matter how good, or fast I was I felt I was failing my family. Then I began hating the housewife thing.  I prayed about it. I wanted needed to know I was making a difference. Then out of the blue one day my husband text me, thanking me for taking such great care of him. He mentioned little things I never gave thought to. The ironing of his clothes, making sure he had his pills, cooking and just making sure he had what he needed. Let me tell you, husbands, these little things make a huge impact and difference in how she views herself and the job she is doing.  We know our worth is based in Christ. But, we love to be valued by our family, especially our husbands. That one particular text made the difference in everything. The one thing God had been dealing with my heart on. The blog God had been dealing with me to write. It was all the confirmation I needed. With this one little text from my husband who I am sure had no clue the impact it would make on me.

Most of my children are grown, I have two left who have not graduated, one will graduate in May 2019, the other is still in junior high. At one point I thought as my children left the nest my job, was coming to a close and almost done. And, the Lord laughed, and said Uh, nope! Our purpose, our mission continues. Our example continues and has to scream volumes over the world’s example, For our daughters, our daughters-in-law,  our granddaughters, friends and for some even their moms. Femininity is a gift, it is also a job, our mission, and purpose. Just as using a God gifted talent of a musician, singer or pastor. We have to work at it. We have to continue to practice, to study to gain knowledge in the specific area.

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Ladies, we are anointed, prayerful, uniquely wonderfully made for a purpose, with a mission to ignite a passion to display our femininity with grace, class, and beauty. Teaching younger women the same (Titus 2:3-5). I challenge you to read the King James Version, of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31, (you can also ready Proverbs and Eccelasties all perfect reading material for this subject)  as well as pray and ask God to help you find and embrace your God gifted femininity. Don’t let the world (satans tactic) to steal it from you. Look to God, for we know his opinion is the only one that matters. Embrace your feminity. Embrace your mission. Teach your daughters, sisters, cousins, daughters-in-law, nieces, and friends God’s design for women. Discover it, embrace it and learn to love it.

Here is a list of books, I have read, I love and would recommend to anyone, that has helped me in my journey to finding my God gifted femininity.