A Single (mom) Serving…….

I bet when you clicked on this particular link you thought it would be a simple blog about nutrition. A nice stir fry or delicious new cake recipe. ¬†I mean with the title and all. I don’t blame you. That was my intention (tee-he-he).
 
b9c2566e8aaf7a80b2443ec78d298ec1I’ve not only been single but a single mom for a while now. Somedays it seems like forever. Once upon a time, I disliked it, despised it… Okay, ¬†I hated it. The single life wasn’t for me. Especially the single mom life. Surround by all these little people calling me mom. I so desperately wanted someone to be the bad cop for me. I wanted someone to watch¬†my children and give me a break. Even for only a few hours. I just wanted to. Needed. Desperately desired a shower without little fingers under the door or someone needing to poop while I showered. You know the days where you drive home from work slowly, sipping your sixty-nine-cent cup of muddy convenient store java. Just to have a moment of silence. ¬†Did this make me a bad mom, uh, no! It made a normal exhausted frazzled single mom. ¬†Let’s face it at one point I even missed the intimacy of marriage (not so much now). Even a bad marriage will have good moments, that end with intimacy.
A frantic frazzled exhausted single mom who has a desire to follow Christ will be found in a church somewhere. Even a single mom without the desire will be found in the church, somewhere.  Searching for hope, encouragement and a place to fit in. A place to feel loved. Accepted. Wanted. I know I was both at one time.
If you have previously served in your church, your role in the church seems to change once you become a single mom. I don’t think anyone purposely changes it for you. It’s something we do to ourselves, Our mindset. The enemy wants us to think this way. It seems to have a way of making us withdraw from certain ministries. ¬†Of course, once our priorities and responsibilities change. Therefore, our availability changes too. You may be a single mom by choice. You may be a single mom due to divorce, death or even geographically. Due to a deployment or job. Regardless of the way you became a single mom. Here we are. We are frantic exhausted frazzled single moms!
Shortly after becoming a single mom, I ¬†so desperately wanted to serve somewhere in the ministry. Some place that made me feel fulfilled, useful, like what I was doing mattered. ¬† I envied all these women who were able to serve. These women were perfectly dressed women. With perfectly behaved children. With perfectly put together Pinterest lives. ¬†I had a desire to serve, almost a need. It was mere desperation to serve. ¬†When I was able to serve at one point. I would serve as a Barista in the church cafe (I loooveeed it!). I¬†was good at it. Let’s 12669659_588189954662865_1766195817367214689_nface it, I was the bomb diggity at it. After serving I would¬†attend service and then Sunday School. Eventually and understandably, the church told me my children were not allowed to be in care for more than two hours per¬†Sunday. Therefore, I quickly had to decide what I wanted to give up. The “barista ministry” wasn’t an option. I was good at. I loved it and it made me feel useful, fulfilled, like what I did matter. Yes, you can matter, even serving coffee and pastries. ¬† ¬†How was I supposed to decide? I hated this. I needed the teaching of Sunday School and the worship and conviction of the service. Eventually, after many many hours of going back and forth, I gave up Sunday School.
I struggled not feeling balanced after that. For years, even though I was serving where I wanted. I never felt fulfilled after that. I know when we’re happy, confident and in our comfort zone, we tend to feel safe, fulfilled and think we’re where God wants us to be. Because, why would he want us to feel uncomfortable? Because of his promises in ¬†Jeremiah 29:11-14 and Ephesians 3:20. Most times our comfort zone isn’t where he needs us to be. Outside our comfort zone, now that where God¬†does the BIG stuff. ¬†Outside that comfort zone takes¬†courage, boldness,¬†and faith. God isn’t impressed with our comfort zone. He’s impressed when we rely on him and step outside of¬†our comfort zone¬†and do what makes us the most uncomfortable, stepping out in Faith as instructed in¬†2 Corinthians 5:7 & 2 Corinthians 4:18.¬†¬†Now that matters!! Find your spiritual gift and joyfully put it to good use, 1 Peter 4:10.
After coming to this conclusion from the experience of failed ministries and being face planted in his word. I came to the realization, the times of struggle, uncertainty, feeling of misplacement, exhaustion and sheer desperation is where I relied completely¬†on him. Knowing at the end of the day it wasn’t my own strength, ¬†but his that got me through whatever I had faced that day. If it had been my own, I would have needed bail money, to say the least¬†(Philippians 4:13).¬†I am Christian, but I’d shank a fool for real.¬†This is where¬†he shows the extreme of his love. The whole deep and wide love thing is for real¬†(Ephesians 3:18). As I reflect on my life, I can see the how he worked behind the scenes of my life. That perfect placement of small miracles throughout my life. Preparing me for a bigger plan. The things I had endured to get to where I am today is a miracle in itself.
So, single mom, ¬†I know I’ve been there and I still have those days. No one is¬†8FE5A02C-2ADD-4BE1-BEFF-8FE0E92250E92F8BDA96-5C5C-4D37-B007-47BBCDA392D6perfect but, take heart Psalm 74:14¬†&¬†John 16:33. ¬†Do not be discouraged from¬†Joshua 1:9, for he has greater plans for you Jeremiah 29:11-14. So, much more than you can hope or imagine Ephesians 3:20.¬†Continue to be an example to¬†your child, Proverbs 22:6 & Joshua 24:15.¬†Be patient, continue on the path Galatians 6:9 and in his time you will reap the harvest of your service, sacrifice and investment Genesis 26:12 & Leviticus 25:18-22.

 
Praying you to find them out of your comfort zone ministry. That you have the courage and boldness to step out in faith. To joyfully and wholeheartedly work within that ministry to glorify and further his kingdom. 
{Hollie Kate}
 

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