Every year as the year begins to come to a close, I begin praying and asking God for a word for the next year. Just one single word I can focus on, pray about and incorporate into my life. Over the years I’ve been given many words. Each word has played a big part in and out of not just my spiritual and prayer life, but my daily living. And, not just that year but, the following years and still do. Each word was given to me in my prayer life and Bible study has had deep mental, spiritual and emotional meaning. I know it’s hard to believe this “one word” can and did make such a huge impact on not just myself but my family over the years.
My past isn’t a secret. The brokenness, the hardships, and abuse. I am open to a fault regarding things I’ve endured over the years. Including Mental, physical, emotional and sexual abuse, going back to my childhood. I am not open because I want you or anyone else to feel sorry for me. I am open because it no longer has a hold on me. I am not longer ashamed of unimaginable things that happen to me at the hands of another. Over the years God has shown me it is not my burden to carry, but the burden of the men who did these things to me; and the women who knew and failed to protect me. It is their burden, NOT MINE. With that being said, last year as the year came to a close and I continued to pray about my word for the new year the Lord revealed my new word to me. A word I didn’t know I long to hear for so many years, a simple word. Even though I didn’t realize I wanted much less needed this word. It has been significant. I truly did not know one word would have such an impact on my life. The word you ask?
Restoration…… Sounds simple right!?
Let me say this. When someone has been physically and or sexually abused as a child or as an adult or maybe even both, it shows on the outside. You may witness bruises, bumps, scrapes, and tears. But, the internal things it does to you can not compare to the seen damage. Emotionally, you are wrecked. Mentally you are borderline crazy (at least you feel that way). Spiritually you are completely broken, maybe shattered is a more fitting word. From experience, I can assure you there isn’t any amount of earthly love or therapy that can repair the unseen brokenness. I’m not saying you shouldn’t attend therapy or support groups (I’ve attended both numerous times).
So, just like that. The word RESTORATION!! It’s just a word. Have you ever studied the word restoration? I know I hadn’t.
“the action of returning something to a former owner, place, or condition.“the restoration of Andrew’s sight”synonyms: repair, repairing, fixing, mending, refurbishment, reconditioning, rehabilitation, rebuilding, reconstruction, overhaul, redevelopment, renovation;
“the restoration of derelict housing”
See God didn’t just restore things in my life. He overhauled, reconditioned and rebuilt all the destruction my soul had not only witnessed but endured.
When you spend so many years blaming yourself for what you couldn’t change or what you couldn’t protect yourself from but had convinced yourself over the years you could. It takes not only a mental toll on you but a physical one and well the spiritual one is indescribable.
My life and the world weren’t changed overnight. It wasn’t some kind of Epiphany or brief Moses and the burning bush moment that just changed me, my thought process or beliefs overnight. I didn’t wake up one magical morning and ah ha….. I was “Cured” of all my mental and spiritual ailments. It’s been a journey. It’s been a day in and day out process. Is my life perfect? No, there isn’t such thing as a perfect life. If you think there is please pull your head out of the sand and look around see the truth. Do I still have moments of anxiety or nightmares, yes? My husband can attest to these, he may deserve a metal. I’m not sure he knew what he was signing up for. Do these things affect me for months on end like they used to? No! I can tell you this year 2017 I’ve experienced more healing and restoration in all aspects of my life and family, than in the last ten years combined. I can tell you this too, God delivered BIG TIME on his promise of Isaiah 61:7. I know joy. It’s apart of my imperfect daily life. I laugh!! I. Laugh. A. Lot.
Isaiah 61:7 Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore in their land, they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy.
So, listen, friend, if you are reading this it’s not by mistake. Either you need some kind of restoration in your life. Maybe you know someone who does. Regardless of how you came across this blog today, know this God cares He not only restores, he demolishes the old and rebuilds into something unimaginable. He delivers on his promises. You do not belong where you are and Joy is on its way.
Lots of love & prayers,